Okay, so now you’ve no doubt heard about it, and seen the video…a poor, elderly doctor being assaulted and forcibly dragged off a United Airlines flight at Chicago’s O’Hare airport. “Oh my God, they’re such fascists! They beat him up, and left him with a concussion! Why, it was racist, I heard…he was singled out specifically because he’s a minority, and then they threw him across the plane! For shame!”
Well, that’s the moronic narrative that we’re hearing from the media, Fox New included.
What’s not being repeated ad nauseum is that Dr. Dumbass held up the flight for two hours while he threw his temper tantrum. What’s not being repeated over and over to the point of inspiring a bad case of diarrhea is that a computer randomly selected four passengers to bump from the flight, Dr. Dumbass being one of them, and the other three got off. They presumably were given tickets on new flights and got home eventually, safe, sound, and with no concussion. And no, the security officers brought in to remove the spoiled brat kidult from the plane didn’t beat him up. Apparently, Dr. Dumbass got his injuries from smashing his own face into the armrest of the seat, as he was thrashing about in his juvenile tizzy.
It reminds me of a similar situation that I personally witnessed back in 2010, on a United flight, at O’Hare. I know because it was me getting booted off the plane. It started when the dim bulb concierge at my hotel failed to get a shuttle ride scheduled for me, as I asked him to. Thus, I was an hour late getting to the airport. Once there, I was trying to check my bulging suit bag, only to be told by the woman at the United counter that I could carry it on. Not believing her, I asked if she was sure about that. She proceeded to tell me that she had been working for United for almost 30 years, and she knew for a fact that I could carry the bag on board, and she bet I couldn’t believe she’d been with the company for 30 years, that she was almost 60, but that she didn’t even look 50, did she? Yeah. I wish I could have those five minutes back.
So, carrying my heavy, bulging suit bag, I made it to the security line, which seemed to stretch to Northern Indiana. I nervously kept an eye on my watch, seeing the minutes ’til boarding time dwindle. Oh crap…I was carrying a bag that I had checked on the flight from Boise to Chicago, and therefore had to ditch some of the things inside — shampoo, mouth wash, toothpaste, and most importantly, a really nice folding knife my Dad had gotten me for Christmas. Into the garbage it all went, I’m sure only to be combed over by TSA agents at the end of the shift. I wonder who’s carrying that knife today?
But I digress…
So I proceed to do an OJ Simpson rental car advertisement run through the airport (if you don’t understand that reference, Google it), finally making it to the gate, panting and sweating. “Oh sir…you can’t carry that bag on board. We’ll have to check it for you!” But, but, but…the woman at the counter, who yes, does look 60, said…
The bag was put into checked baggage, but I made it on board with a few minutes to spare. No problem, I thought, they’ll transfer my bag in Denver to my connecting flight back to Boise. All is well. Carry-on bag stowed in the overhead bin, seat belt buckled…whew! Nothing could go wrong now.
Then the flight attendant came up. “Sir, can I see your ticket?” I handed it to her, and she frowned slightly. “Uh, I’m sorry, but we sold this seat to a standby passenger.”
“You weren’t at the gate 30 minutes before boarding, so we sold your seat.”
“Wait. The company I work for bought this ticket a month ago, and you’re telling me you sold it to a standby passenger? He can get off the plane and wait for another flight.”
“Well, he’s traveling with someone.”
“So why not make both of them get off?” says I.
However, I saw that the situation was not going to end in my favor, so I choked down my pride, got my carry-on bag, and skulked off the plane. I stopped long enough to watch it take off, with my suit bag stowed inside, bound for Denver. I then proceeded to bark, bite, chew and foam at the mouth to everyone I saw wearing a United uniform, until I was given a ticket for a direct flight to Boise, which arrived only about half an hour after the connecting flight from Denver did. I even got my bag back in two days. Oh yeah, and United gave me a $500 voucher for my next flight. No concussion, no bloody lip, no missing teeth. No multi-million dollar settlement either, but that wasn’t my concern. I just wanted to get home.
“But Jay,” you whine, “he’s a doctor, and he had to see patients the next day!” Well, I guess he should’ve planned his trip a little better, shouldn’t he? Why didn’t he fly that morning, build in a little “oh sh!t” time into his schedule? Why didn’t he fly a day earlier? Why didn’t he drive? Hmmmm? It’s only about four hours by car from Chicago to Loserville, uh, I mean Louisville (in the interest of full disclosure, I grew up in Lexington, so GO BIG BLUE!!! CARDINALS SUCK!!! But I digress again…).
Comments I’ve read asked why he had to give up his seat for a United flight crew? Why didn’t the flight crew get bumped, or why didn’t they rent a car and drive to Loserville? Glad you asked…I’ll tell you. Flight crews have to have a certain number of hours of rest between flights. This is mandated by the FAA. If they’d driven to Loserville, they’d likely not have been able to get the required number of hours’ rest, and therefore wouldn’t have been allowed to fly the next day, and as a consequence, possibly thousands of people would be affected, due to connections not being made, etc. So no, United was right to bump Dr. Dumbass and the other three passengers.
BUT…the problem lies with the airlines being allowed by law to sell more seats on a flight than there are on the plane. Evidently, even after paying hundreds of dollars for a seat, some people don’t show up for whatever reason. So, despite the fact that the airlines have already been paid for those (empty) seats, they get to sell them again, and make even more money. How sweet is that? For the airline, that is…for people who get bumped, not so much. That should change, Congress. Get busy. After you pass tax reform, a market-based replacement for Obamacare, and fund the Border Wall, you need to do something about that.
So Dr. Dumbass will be a millionaire, and despite the fact that he probably deserved to be tased, I can’t shed a tear for United. Why? Their customer service record is abysmal. Why anyone continues to fly United is beyond me. Their prices are steep, and their customer service has ranked at or near the bottom of the industry for decades. Consider the story of Dave Carroll, a Canadian musician who spent a year trying to get United to pay for repairs to his expensive Taylor guitar, which was broken by United baggage handlers…at O’Hare. When he got tired of being told no, he fought back. He wrote three songs, and made three You Tube videos, to let the world know his story, and how badly United’s customer service, well, sucks. After posting the second video, the company relented, and Carroll got his Taylor guitar fixed, along with being given a whole new Taylor, to boot. Check out the videos, by clicking here. Way to go, Dave…glad you won, and BTW, the songs and videos are great!
So, how can you fight back? Boycott United. Stop patronizing them altogether. Let them know that you want the board of directors fired, and replaced with people who actually care about those who spend their hard-earned money to fly with them. Keep in mind that boycotts do no good if you don’t let them know why you’re doing it. Call. E-mail. Write an old-fashioned letter if you really want to get their attention. You have to let them know you’re mad as hell, and you’re not going to take it anymore.
If you own United stock, then you own the company, and you’re to blame in proportion to how many shares you own. You can sell your shares, and apparently a lot of you are doing that. But if you want to hang onto them, you need to take charge of YOUR company. Pound on the board members, and tell them to either straighten things out, right the f*** now, or it’s time for them to go. Maybe consider running for election to the board yourself. You own the company, so do something about it.
Have you heard of Taqiyya? Read this article…it could save your life.
The stupidest question I’ve heard asked by a reporter in a looooong time…and I’ve heard some real stupid questions over the years
Idaho Gov. Butch Otter stabs taxpayers in the back…again. But why should he care? He’s a lame duck, and legacy’s the big concern now.
Segment 1 – 53% by 10 Pound Test
Segment 2 – Hell March, from the Red Alert video game
Segment 3 – The Storm by 10 Pound Test, available at CD Baby
Segment 4 – Sweet Home Idaho by 10 Pound Test
Closing Segment – Old Glory (a song for Michael) by 10 Pound Test
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